The last couple of years have been extremely challenging for me personally and creatively. Certain events and dutiful burnout finally reached its peak to the point where I can’t even pretend to enjoy the things that used to make me happy. Picking up a camera has become a chore, holding a paintbrush in my hand only a distant exercise, and writing poems disappeared years ago. But I used to love all these things. What the heck happened to the fun of it? Where did my passion for creativity disappear to? Where has my sanity gone and now that I find myself here, how can I find my way back?
Being creative has always been the way I manage feelings of anxiety, depression and stress when life is going too fast or when I find that I am forced to make major adjustments in my life that I hadn’t wanted. I suppose you could say that when I am being creative is where I find my happy place. Sadly, I haven’t really felt creative for quite some time. So now what?
I decided to do something I haven’t done in a really long time. Something just for pleasure. I picked up a book to read for no other reason except ‘because.’ I picked up the book BIG MAGIC – Creative Living Beyond Fear, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I don’t think I even realized really what it was going to be about, but I had read her book Eat, Pray, Love years ago and enjoyed it. I can’t say that it was anything spectacular, but I think it was the book I needed to read at that moment. I imagine it’s one of those books that you either get or don’t get. Now whether or not I received the message the book was trying to relay I can’t be sure, but the message I interpreted for me has helped me reevaluate how I want to approach my own inner creative. For now I feel somewhat hopeful I can start to turn things around in order to find the joy in being creative again the way I had in the past. The next step is to find the motivation to just go do it.